The Myth of Control and the Hazards of Expectations

I was recently invited to write an article for my alma mater’s literary magazine. Eleventh Hour Literary is a new publication by Binghamton University, featuring creative writing, poetry, and other forms of art. I was given the theme of the rejections that creatives often face, particularly in the publishing process, and what my experience has been with meeting rejection.

My piece evolved into a narrative of the various, perhaps more subtle ways I experienced rejection in the process of publishing my book, Light in Bandaged Places, which was released in September 2023. These were not so much the classic letters of rejection from agents or editors, but the ways my own expectations led to disappointment at times, even amid the elation of publishing a book.

The more generalizable message is about how we often get ourselves into trouble (i.e., suffer needlessly) and experience disappointment and rejection that is self-generated due to expectations of our own making, as well as our misguided notion that we can control everything.

Click here for a direct link to the article: The Myth of Control and the Hazards of Expectations.

Click here to see the whole edition.  

What is your relationship with control and expectations? How do you navigate them?

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