Life: Not Permanent, Perfect, or Personal
Someone suggested that I write a follow-up to my last essay about my unexpected arm pain, and let you know how things are now, several weeks later. So many of you expressed concern, which was lovely and kind – thank you!
After the initial week of severe pain all down my right arm, and seeing two doctors, it was thought, best-guessed, assumed, that what I had was an inflammation of the nerve bundle in the shoulder, called the brachial plexus, that controls the arm and hand. Maybe there was a shoulder impingement as well. In any event, the steroid I was given was a miracle cure. After six days of taking it, the pain had significantly decreased, and I could use my arm again, carefully. After another week, the pain was completely gone and has remained so to this day. Of course, steroids are not to be taken lightly, but in my case, this gift of modern medicine came through for me, and I am grateful.
So, what did all this teach me?
What my painful yet short-lived experience with nerve inflammation that rendered my dominant arm and hand useless for over a week brought to mind in brilliant color was one of the most basic teachings from Buddhism: Life has three primary Characteristics. Only three, you say? These three cover a lot of ground, and books are written describing them in depth.
These Three Characteristics of Life are:
Impermanence
Unsatisfactoriness (often translated as suffering)
The lack of a solid, independent self.
A more accessible way to say this comes from author and activist Ruth King:
“Life is not:
Permanent,
Perfect, or
Personal.”
We can see how things change all the time; it’s the natural rhythm of life. Days, seasons, flowers, and even we come into being, stay for some time, changing all the while, and then pass away. Impermanent.
We can see that there are aspects of life that we find unsatisfactory; how often do we wish things were other than how they are? There is bad weather, chronic illness, traffic jams, job stress, the annoying person in the book club, the concerning diagnosis, and those feelings of worthlessness. Unsatisfactoriness, suffering.
And, don’t we tend to make ourselves the center of the Universe? We build up identities, a sense of who we are: our careers, our appearance, our roles, our points of view and opinions, our needs – and we defend and protect them vigorously, sometimes at the expense of others, or even our own well-being. We tend to hold ourselves tightly, but the truth is that we are constantly changing, on both the macro and micro levels. No solid self.
My recent bout with the conditions of what I consider my ‘self’ highlighted all three of these Characteristics of life. Things will change, things are not always going to be how I want them to be, and I am part of a larger flow of life.
Renowned teacher Joseph Goldstein has the saying: “Anything can happen, any time.” It’s a good reminder to be awake and also to hold things and ourselves lightly. The tighter we hold on, the more likely we are to get rope burn. If we know things will not always be to our liking, remembering that they will change and that we are not the actual center of the Universe helps us live with more ease. I didn’t like losing the use of my arm and being in constant pain, but remembering these Characteristics helped me not to live with outrage, panic, or grumble too badly, but to be willing to go with the flow of events, taking care of my body through it all, and hold the situation with some ease.
May I remember this when things are more challenging than a temporarily painful arm!
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